Some feelings~

Is already 47 days after the confess...At first i really don't want to write anymore about the confess matter but i can't. Keep it inside the heart is really killing me. This week most ppl think that I have been recover from the sadness. Haha... but actually not at all. Not to say not happy or what. I'm happy that i can in love with her. Just the feeling really don't feel well. Kind of something stuck inside the heart. Don't know what to do or what to say. Is like i'm lost in the jungle. Or i'm too scare of losing her. Too scare of looking her holding hand with another guy. I never felt that intimidate before...
Most of the day after the confess i can't sleep well. Every night staring at the star and make stupid wishes by my own. Sometime even worst. Staring at the sky waiting for meteor for whole night just to make a wish. What to do?? You get blind when you in love. I never regret on whatever i done to her, instead i felt happy in doing it.
When you in love with someone, that person really can change your personality. Something that u never think of you will like it but now, u just like it without reason...Kind of funny when i think back...
But for now, we still are good friends...Just wish the way I treat her now won’t make her feel uncomfortable.
Kind regret on what I have done in the past…Some time I really hope we can start all over again…Just ignore my impatient in the past. Let’s give me a chance to confess again. Whether the result is what, I will take it slowly…For now, I just want to treat her as good as I can. Hoping to see her happy all the time…

Happiness important than result or opposite?

Today i did not study much even though i spent most of the time in library.
but some how, i kind of happy even though i did not study much...
kind of enjoying the time in library with some special good friends...
Hmm...... i was wondering, is the result important or the process???
result is good or bad we really can't control it, but the experience we gain from the process is much more important and is priceless....
"RESULT IS NOT EVERYTHING"
This two week will be a tough week for all the people, but just wish u guys can enjoy the process of learning... dont make urself stree up until u get freak out with sth. just try r best will do.... Gd luck~

Best Wishes!!

After tonight, the war of knowledge begin~~
This semester i really did not try my best in whatever subject i took. Thought i can start focus on my study during the exam week but seem like my exam week just gone like that because of the symposium!! Kind of regret in wasting all my times for all those stupid useless meeting. Especially when waiting all those leader to come in time~~head never be punctual before, what they expect from the subordinate??
Aiks~~just can't forget about what happened in symposium!!
whatever it is, just wish all my fellow friends can get a flying colour result in this final examination.
If you don't want to feel regret in future, just try your very best in this exam.
We can't change our past, but we can change our future.....
LET"S ADD OIL TOGETHER!!!!

Sweet dream~~

yesterday night i have a very very sweet dream. Kind of don't want to wake up because of this dream...haha
the dream is about my wedding~~LOL~~But is a sweet one~~really really sweet...
i dream of my frens celebrating the wedding with me, help me preparing all the stuff, my parents all get crazy because of my wedding, but most important is the girl who get married with me...
my dream never get this sweet if the girl is not her......Pai seh......haha
Really wish one day this dream can come true~~~haha, suddenly think i'm kind of childish~~
But i think most people will become childish when thinking of someone u love~~
Seriously, i can't wait to sleep now so that i may get a tiny chance to dream back the dream...haha...
PLEASE LA "CHOW GONG", let me dream dream my yesterday dream la~~~~~~

The End~~

at last~~the symposium has come to a conclusion.
Whether it is a failure or success event, who cares??
but in this event, i really learn a lot of things, i see the evil side of a person....and etc.
Hmmm......seem like this event causes a lot of problems to us.
friendship broken, arguement, divided into group.......haiks~~~
really sick of this semester~~~
too many things happened on me!!!!
I never feel that tired and emotion before since i enter uni.... This is the first time.
I think there's no turning back between the friendship...

symposium~~

Tomorrow will be our symposium day. but seem like many thing still haven't settle down.
budgeting problems,politics,financial,junior relationship and etc.
Hmmm....i guess tomorrow will be a failure for us.
and the dinner.......i don't even dare to think about it.
i think what we can do now is not preparing the dinner or thinking of how to carry out our duty well, all we need to prepare now is an explanation to lecturers and Dean~~
for joana group members, please be patient. i know the distribution of the sponsor is unfair to us, but for now, there's nothing we can do. just wait until the symposium finish first.
i believe if we stick together as a team, i don't think the others can take advantages from us.
just be patient for now... no matter what, we will get back what we deserve......
Haiks......instead of worry about the money, why don't we just focus on our final examination first.
don't let this problems affect our performance.....Let's add oil~~especially Diamond group members~~GOGOGO~~~LOL

Begin-process-Ending

2 more days to go, our symposium will begin. 5 more days to go, our final exam start. haiks~but i still haven't finish my assignment and presentation. and even worst, i haven't start my study~~
last time i usually went to library to study, but this semester....NONE
OMG~~why I'm so lazzzyyy~~~
I'm always thinking of graduate as a first class student together with yt and sl. i keep on pushing myself to the top during the past semester....Hmmm....but seem like giving up de~~~
I think first class is only for those who clever and hardworking...... and i don't think i have this both criteria to become a first class student...
AIks~~ what to say, I'm just not the kind~~haha.
But I'm ok with it. I happy to be here and i never expected i can come so far.
For me, it's more than enough and i have nothing to hope for anymore...
just wish i could try my best and i wish all my coursemate can get a great score in this coming final exam too.
whether we have any conflict or misunderstanding in the past, all i wish is, be yourself, don't compare with other, your target is you but not the others....
anyway, all the best to everyone~~~ Let's add oil....
1 more year to go and we can wear the "jubab"....haha....
i adi feel excited now~~~can't wait for that day~~don't know i will cry anot leh??
haha~~

Diamond Group 在此~谁挡~~杀啊~~~~~~

The shadow seem weak~~but the relationship inside are stronger than u expect~~

doesn't matter~

seem like there are number of frens visiting my blog this few days.
i'm happy that u all worry about me......but i'm totally fine now.
i just called her and express everything inside me.......
for now we are frens.......for future.....no one knows.......and i think i dont have to rush for answer anymore. for now, i just have to wait the destiny come to me~~
For now, i just wish she could stay happy and we still can be best frens like we did last time....hanging out, talk to each other when unhappy, share everything....etc...
today, i realize that there are something we dont have to express it out to other ppl or blog.
sometimes, keep in inside is more beautiful than express it out.
for all i want to say now is, i'm still the same, and i still caring about her, still that love her forever and ever...but wheather i can get her or not....it doesn't matter anymore....as long as she happy.......i don't mind weather i'm the mr. right or not........



With Love:
David Tan

默默期待奇迹的第2天！

已经是凌晨3点多了，我还是无法入眠。心里一直都在想她。一旦望上天空的星星，就会想起我骑摩托载她去看星星的时刻；一旦看见我的手机，就会很想打给她；一旦我把电脑开上，手上的滑鼠就会不知不觉的把她的照片她打开。。。我真的从来没有试过这么的失控。
心里一直都在问自己，奇迹有可能出现吗?她曾经对我说过，她这一辈子都不会喜欢上我的。到底是真的，还是应为当时我逼得她太厉害，所以才这样说?啊啊~~真的很希望是假的。。。
真的很恨自己为什么当时这么冲动，为什么不能慢慢来，为什么不能相信她，为什么这么怕失去她，为什么这么烦。。。。。为什么????
我真的对我所做的一切感到很后悔，很无助。。。生气我，避开我，都是应该的。。。
对不起~~我真的没有想过我越想拥有一个人时，反而会把事情弄得更糟糕。。。
错的都是我，对不起~~~~~~
如果不是因为我的冲动，我所做过的一切，奇迹还会出现吗??????

默默期待奇迹的第1天！

有人跟我说过，“喝酒不要超过6分醉，吃饭不要超过7分饱，爱一个人不要超过8分爱”。但是，从昨天的我来看，除了吃饭没有超过1分饱之外，喝酒和爱一个人我都超越了10分。今天的我，是否也会跟昨天一样呢?我真的不敢想。。。
竟然她已做到那么明显，看来以后的我，只好在远方偷偷的看她，偷偷的从别人里知道她的开心与不开心，偷偷的通过别人来守护她和爱她。希望我这样的做法，会让她过得比较快乐和自然。。。
今天突然收到她短信。以前的我一定会开心到睡不了，马上就回她。但是，不懂为什么今天收到她的短信时，心里在犹豫到的要不要回她??真的很怕我的短信会让她感觉不自然和讨厌。
我真的不懂以后的日子要怎样过，要怎样面对。。。虽然时间能让一个人慢慢的习惯，但是，看来这次的我，真的要用一段很长恨长的时间才能习惯。。。

追求你第35天！

对不起大家！关于我追求她的故事可能写不下去了。。。
今天，是我一生最痛苦，最伤心，最失败的一天。一旦知道她逼开我，不想和我联络，我真的不知道还能做什么。难道我喜欢一个人我也不能用我的所有去讨好她，去爱她和为我自己争取一个机会吗?为什么要怎样对我???你应该知道我一直以来都很在呼你怎样对我。。。为什么?
从我一进大学到现在，一直让我最想保护，最想照顾，最想疼爱的人。。。一直都是你。
所有人都说我很冲动。不过，你们又有没有想到当你真真的爱上一个人的时候，那一种想接近她，想永远都拥有她的感觉是多么的难控制，多么的期待。。。跟何况对一个已经暗恋了很久的女生。
我的心情又有谁能了解?
心里一直不停的问自己，“我有那么烂吗"?
现在的我真的很后悔为什么要应为以前的女友而争取进入大学的机会?
要是我没有进入大学的话，我就不会遇见你，也不会爱上你，也不会让你觉得我那么的讨你厌。
现在的我，真的很想离开这个大学，丢掉我的手机，让我能去到一个没有人能联络我的地方，慢慢的逼自己忘掉她。。。
哈哈。。一想到要逼自己忘掉对她的感觉时，眼泪就不停的流下来，一流就流了两个多小时才能继续的写。真的从来没有试过为了一个喜欢的女生，流怎么久的泪。
很多人都说，眼泪流下了，心情也会变好一点。但是，为什么我感觉不到?
我的心还是一直那么的想她，那么的爱她。
有人对我说过，“就算我不能拥有我喜欢的人，我也希望她能拥有她喜欢的对象”。这句话听起来是很容易说，但是，做起来，真的很难。不过，无论如何，我也希望我能做的到。及时不能，我也会逼我自己做，应为，我真的很想看见你活得快乐和幸福。
及时不能拥有你，我也不会忘记你的一切。
我一直以为我了解爱的意义。不过，我终于明白什么才是所为的真爱。
谢谢你给我了解到真真爱一个人的感觉，我永远都会记住，也永远都会爱你一直到老。。。

追求你第34天！

今天并没有跟她有太多的联络，可能是害怕吧！她从昨天晚上就把手机关了，一直到今天下午才开回。让我有一种好像要逃避我的感觉。今天的我就藏着一股闷闷不乐的心情，拼命的把所有科目的notes做好。希望能把我的notes都给完她。也希望能在考试时帮到她。
心里真的很想跟她说我对她做过的事，但是又不想应为她同情我才给我一次机会。只好默默的等待，希望有一天她会发现我的存在啦！
Haiks~那一天到底要几时才会出现呢?还是永远都不会出现呢?真的很害怕很害怕那一天的到来。。。

追求你第33天！(想念)！

今天一起床就很想念她！可能是应为知道她已经离开了大学。我真的很想联络她，但是又怕她会觉得我很烦。aiks~！到的要这样做才好啊? 我很想她啊~~~
今天我突然想起她最喜欢的"lolipop & winnie the pooh"。于是我就偷偷的跑去了买她想要很久了的“winnie the pooh"汤壶和"chupa chups lolipop".希望能给她一个小惊喜。
今天我跟我的朋友有点误会，结果就闹了起来！我真的很想告诉她我们吵架的原因，但是，在我打给她的时候，我又发觉她已经在跟其他人在聊天了。心里的不安又默默的出现了。她是否在跟一位男生聊天?到底在聊什么呢?aiks~心里越想就越不开心，越不安。她每次都说只是跟普通朋友聊天。但是为什么能聊到两到三个小时??Haiks~什么也好啦，她只不过当我是好朋友而已。我并没有什么权力去追问，或知道。。。陈有辉，你只是她的朋友而已。。。。。。

追求你第32天！

已经32天了，虽然已经面对过无数的拒绝，但是，我对她的感觉并没有减少，反而不停的在增加。
我已经失去了方向，迷失了自我！！明天她要回家了。今晚我真的很想和她聊天直到天亮。但是，她已经有聊天的对象了。我只好默默的等候希望她能在睡之前给我一则短信，不过我知道是不可能的啦！想太多！！今天她说我比其他追求者有点不同。她说我太过着急。其实我也不想这样的。都是应为你太多追求者了，我很害怕我比不上其他，就这样失去了你。不懂啦。。。我这是知道现在的我已经100%的爱上了你。真的很希望我能有机会永远的照顾她，给她所有就好的，给她幸福和快乐！(这是我第一次用话语写blogger,也是应为她我才写的。如果有写错，对不起啦)

It's already 9 days, even though we start to have conversation, but the feeling just not right.

STOP...

I think i better stop doing such silly things or else i may lose a friends that i don't wish to lose. It's really difficult to control such feeling. Those stupid action will just come out even though i told myself to stop. I really don't know how long she can stand. Really scare one day she may just off the phone, stop talking with me and so on. Some of my friends think that I'm such a stupid. But don't you think that when u in love with someone, you really can't control your stupidity. This week is driving me crazy. Beside worry about these matter, there are many things i need to settle. Sponsorship, performance, assignment, test,final exam, job, symposium and etc. Haiks, usually i'm a person who like to aim high shoot low, but seem like this time, i really have to aim low and shoot lower. I really wish that person can support me all the way. She is my inspiration, my target, my dream and my strenght.

I hate myself...

That day before i act, i really thought i am ready to accept the consequences. But when i know the answer already, then only i realize i am not ready for it. And from that moment, i know she already stand a very important place in deep of my heart just that i don't realize it. I blame myself for taking such stupid action. Why can't i wait for a longer time first? Why can't i be patient a bit? If i do so, maybe the result will be different. Seriously, I'm lost...... I really don't know how to face it. She seem nothing but for me, it take time to recover. A week? A month? A year? Or until the end of my day? I really don't know.

What happened to my life?

At the beginning, i thought parents, friendship, love one, career and car are the most important things in my life and i struggle hard to remain it. But when times goes by, i found that i have failed to remain the friendship and love one in my life. Starting from this moments, there's no longer so call "true friendship" and love in my life. For all i need is love from parents, preparing myself in my future career and struggle hard to get my dream car. I no longer need love in my life cause i realize that i should be a lonely driver for the rest of my life. I'm sick of falling in love, sick of seeing all those peoples which wearing mask all the time, sick of myself. I'm sick of everything.....GOD DAMN IT. But i have to thanks the person who telling me the truth. Thank you very much. You made me realize there's something more important that need me to do.

Are we coursemate?

Sometimes, i really don't know why we can't live harmony as a coursemate? Why there are so many arguement in between? Why can't they think in a mature way? Why we can't do things in a fair way and ask other opinion first before we do something? Isn't it unfair to other if one person dominating the whole group? We all human being. Sometime we may do something wrong, but as long as the person begging for forgiveness, why can't we just give he or she a chance? Why we need to do things according to the person but not the problems that we facing? Instead of sitting down and shooting each other, why can't we just find a better solution? We already more than 21 years old, please don't act like a child......BE MATURE......I'm very glad that many of them have the strong determination to carry out the task and I'm very jealous about your determination. But the problems is, is that EFFECTIVE ENOUGH? Think twice......it may change your perception......If what i said here hurting some of you... I'm sorry...... I don't mean it. I just want to tell the facts and my stand is neutral.

friends

1. ice bing
2. evelyn
3. alice
4. dai lou
5. yong yong
6. orlando
7. keyka
8. tunnie
9. nick
10. gan
11. pei wen
12. yoke yian
13. Joana
14. suhada
15. aishah
    

Chin3s3 N3w Y3ar 2oo9 !!